Tuesday, February 9, 2010

And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs...

A riddle: A certain scientist, Dr. Howell, was approached by a colleague regarding a seemingly ancient cave painting in rural France. Upon inquiry, the colleague tells Dr. Howell that the paintings are only recently uncovered by him and his team, and he would like to buy the land from the poor farmer and then turn a huge profit from the tourist revenue. The colleague then asked Dr. Howell if he wanted in on the deal. Dr. Howell demands pictures of the site. A few days go by, and Dr. Howell finally receives said pictures in the mail. They are vivid red and yellow with ancient looking traces of soot and ash. They depict a human figure fighting a woolly rhinoceros and a carnivorous looking dinosaur. Dr. Howell immediately turns down the offer to buy in on the farm and calls his colleague a scam artist. How did Dr. Howell so quickly know they were fake?

Answer: Humans and dinosaurs didn't exist at the same time, and before 1900 civilization had no real grasp of dinosaurs, much less accurate knowledge of what they looked like.

My kids were astounded by this answer and demanded a recount. Humans and dinosaurs did exist simultaneously they insisted! I sat back confounded as they regaled me about Adam and Eve fighting dinosaurs, plesiosaurs swimming aside the Ark, and a motley crue of prehistoric mammals that sound like Ray Romano and Dennis Leary helping a mother T-Rex and her babies get back under the ice! I wondered to myself if these kids were being funny or being serious as a raptor attack! Turns out, it was a raptor attack. No science class, no history class, no well meaning teacher who had to leave a movie for a sub had explained pre-history to these children. They had lived entire lives believing that cave men ate brontosaurus for breakfast and got eaten by T-Rexs like that guy in the porta potty in Jurassic Park. I did what I could to compress 200 million years of history into about 200 seconds. Dinosaurs, big boom, furry things survive, mammals (not named Scrat), homo ergastr, homo heidelbergensis, humans. I avoided that "E" word because I like my job and we continued on with class.

As most teachers do, when lunch arrived I went to go wax poetic about my darlings in the teacher's lounge. I began my anecdote about my kids' ignorance when suddenly, I was stopped cold by a science teacher. She graciously informed me that the in the school district in which I currently work, geological time is not taught at any level by any one. She said dinosaurs were too controversial, and she would be fired on the spot for such blaspheming. Really? Really, really? So these children are PURPOSEFULLY left in ignorance?

I'm a Christian through and through. I believe the Bible is God's true word, Jesus Christ is my savior, my Father, and my best friend. I believe that God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent. I don't put barriers or boundaries on what my God can do, nor what he has done. I don't for a second believe that I know history as is really happened, nor do I think the Bible is a literal document. The Jews have been using numerology since before the time of Christ. 40 years in the desert meant to the Hebrew speaking world "a really freaking long time." Why must modern Christians believe that they are entitled to know exactly what happened in the beginning of time and everything since then? Why is it so hard to accept that maybe things didn't happen exactly as we have it translated in the NIV bible? Why can't we see that time is a construct of man? Why can't we admit that God in all in all his sovereignty does not operate on our time or within our boundaries? Why does the Bible need to be perfectly literal? Like all great pieces of literature, it contains allegories, metaphors, symbols, deep seated themes, and mysteries. Great authors never come right out and tell you, they use their art to communicate in a much more beautiful way.

I am willing to entertain any theory because I trust that the Lord will lead me in the right direction; I trust that my background in the bible and my faith and trust are enough to give me an accurately discerning eye. I am not afraid of science or knowledge, I believe those things came from the Lord as well. His creations are indescribably complex and stunning, from the tiniest self sustaining cell to the grandest of canyons. It is a form of worship to constantly learn about and be in awe of his creation. I love to learn precisely because it makes me even more humble in the face of all He has done.

I find it offensive that this district doesn't allow for the study of pre-history, dinosaurs, fossils, etc...All that can be done without the "E" word if you like. Knowledge was created to learn; knowledge was created so that we could glorify the Lord and revel in this beautiful world and all in it. Why do we allow our students to risk looking ignorant? If we are truly not teaching them these things for a religious purpose, then why not instead teach them to defend their faith? "Because the Bible said so" won't get anyone anywhere in the academic world. How dare we pass on our fears to our kids! How dare we allow our kids to be blind sighted while we sit back and lay comfortably in our ignorance!

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7