Hobos and Hummingbirds

Someone should've told me that one should refrain from asking 8th graders serious questions about the world. In the midst of an Anne Frank unit, I had my kids keep diarys over topics that would change daily. They went from mundane to much more serious, just like Anne's diary. While I've got some brilliant kids, without the thunder of war outside their windows, serious writing baffles them. I asked what the world's biggest problem was today and I got (real answers here, people): Hobos, body odor, braces, prescription drugs-as a general pricipal, Jews, a lack of corporate office space, hummingbirds, The Gays, and fossils. One child told me that if it weren't for dinosaur fossils, then those "dang ignorunt scientists" wouldn't have gotten on a roll and discovered "all the other junk that idn't Christun." I was genuinely expecting disease, pollution, maybe some political answers thrown in for fun, but hummingbirds and hobos tripped me up. I also pondered upon my prodigies what one thing would benefit the world most today. Apparently Edward Cullen's image could cure cancer, a drinking age lowered to 8 would get everyone used to it and therefore no more drunk driving, new pink camo for our Armed Forces would strike fear in our enemies hearts, and controlling the gopher population would just be good news for everyone. I love my kiddos tremendously, and I believe in their abilities. I also believe that I'm a little afraid of the gopher-free world these children are creating for the rest of us.

First Steps and Last Kisses

Someone at the NEWSWEEK publication is on an alarmingly large amount of drugs. They have published a series of lists regarding the bests of the last decade- best movie moments, most important dates, etc...They have compiled a list of the top ten "Cultural Events" of the last ten years. On this list, they include such "events" as Michael Phelps, Lord of the Rings sweeping the Oscars, and Tina Fey dressing as Sarah Palin. Let me just clarify for you, readers, what "culture" is. Culture is the conglomeration of a society; our particular ways and means, language, religion, art, music, and so on. So, in theory, this list should be the top ten moments in the last ten years that define Americans as a unique, multi-faceted culture. The only thing this list says is : Hey guys! Americans are still 50 years behind y'all; don't wait up!." Did this country go through the family-shattering violence of Civil Rights movement to still be hung up on the race card? I didn't think so, but NEWSWEEK apparently does. I have some late breaking news, the elimination of racism isn't acknowedleging our difference, it's never seeing the differences to begin with. In my classroom, kids aren't black or white. They are kids. Halle Berry shouldn't be recieving praise for being a black woman winning an Oscar; she should be lauded because she's a great actress. Why isn't it a cultural moment when Kate Winslet wins? She's British, shouldn't be we all be jumping for joy that we Americans are so damn tolerant to let an English woman win? And don't even get me started on the complete ignorance of the author writing the "Passion of the Christ" entry. They need a good history teacher and a bible. Cultural moments should be times when our nation's fabric is changed; moments that are so profound that we write about them, sing about them, moments that inspire us to make culture. Michael Jackson dying may have changed the fabric of little boys living around NeverLand, but I think the rest of us remain unchanged. The man was a social outcast, mentally ill, and financially unstable; he hadn't produced anything relevant to society since he entertained us all by setting himself on fire during a Superbowl halftime show. The healthcare protests in Washington have been cultural moments. Moments when Americans have shown that they are still participants in their government, moments that show we still believe in our constitution and our history. Facebook becoming a communication phenomenon is a cultural moment; it is in a strange way reconnecting us with the ones we've lost, and in a stranger way revolutioning our vocabulary and the way we share what we love. The most cultural moment of our century, the moment that changed everything, was 9/11. Songs were written, opus' composed, novels scribed, hearts changed. Our fabric went from loosely woven and multi colored, to a tight knit red, white, and blue, at least for a little while. Our ways and means, all our practices, our words, our thoughts, our loves-everything changed. Our culture changed. NEWSWEEK doesn't get it. We don't walk around mourning the deaths of irrelevant celebrities, and spend all our time considering the careers of Halle Berry and Denzel Washington. We mourn the loss of those we love, at home and abroad; we spend all our time considering the the people in our lives, the joys we have, and the joys we don't. Our cultural moments are first steps, last kisses, easy days, hard wins, and everything in between. Maybe someone at NEWSWEEK should be writing about those.

Elitist Ice Cream

Unlike the few people I normally converse politically with, before today I didn't feel a burning desire to put Nair in Nancy Pelosi's shampoo, or rend her deaf because she's already dumb, or send her to an obscure Afgahni province where the native men have a penchant for old ladies enough "Anti Aging" foundation to cover the San Fran tranny population twice. Today I'm tempted to change my mind. In an attempt to, I'm sure, "humanize" Mrs. Pelosi, they've really just made her become more public about her elitist life style and arrogant attitude. I have no issue with what the woman eats or doesn't eat for breakfast, why it's even news baffles me further. My beef is with the copious hypocrisy everything in this article (and really magazine, because hey Al Gore is on the cover) represents.
The way I see modern liberalism is this: Those who call themselves "liberal" are most generally concerned with the health, welfare, and rights of those around them in universal, all men are inherently entitled and I'm-going-to-make-damn-sure-of-it-if-it-kills-you kinda way. Frankly, my view is that some people have made such disrepair of their lives, relationships, and finances that they assume such chaos is normal and everyone must be in need of the same kind of rescue they are. Some of us can actually pull ourselves up by our boot (or 3 inch peep toe red patent heel, thank you) straps and rely on only our God, our family, and ourselves to pick up the pieces. The way I see it, self proclaimed liberals want equality of opportunity and the right to choose whichever belief a person hold dear...unless it's the particular one they disagree with and then it's crap. Hypocrisy, party of 10 million.
Nancy Pelosi seems to fit my mold as well as she fits into her custom made Michael Kors, Prada, and Manolos. She wishes to legislate every woman's right to choose and grant that particular freedom, yet deny me the choice to believe that homosexuality is wrong. The woman eats ice cream for breakfast, yet won't let her staff take the elevators. She spouts fountains of welfare and free health care, gives my tax dollars away to every Jose, Amir, and Jamal (face the facts, the wide majority of those receiving government benefits that aren't seniors are minorities and immigrants, medicare.gov) and yet demands private jets, "elitist ice cream", and a staff to cater to her every need. Keep in mind, she's not on any committees, doesn't participate in debates on the floor, and doesn't vote on legislation. What part of her day exactly requires that she need a staff full of people to wait on her hand and foot? I'm on my feet 8-10 hours a day teaching the scourge of the earth (13 year olds) how to differentiate between transitive and intransitive verbs-someone get ME a bowl of chocolate ice cream!
You simply cannot espouse the ideas of liberalism, of giving chunks of what you earn in order to support the common good, yet sit around and eat "elitist ice cream". Shouldn't you be giving a third of that expensive ice cream to your staff? Not.how.it.works. If you believe it, you had better live it, especially if you're in the public eye., especially if you're Speaker of the freaking House of Representatives and third in command to control this country. Unless of course you believe you're in the upper echelon, and if that's true, you're a communist and last time I checked, the East Germans didn't get to eat chocolate ice cream. Correct yourself all you'd like, Madame Speaker, but I heard you loud and clear.
I hope you spill that ice cream all over your wool cashmere blend double breasted Chanel in winter white, and have to get the stain out YOURSELF!

http://blog.newsweek.com/blogs/thegaggle/archive/2009/11/04/nancy-pelosi-eats-ice-cream-for-breakfast.aspx

http://www.newsweek.com/id/216862

There is a woman working in my school's front office whose sole charge is to root out and kick out those students who do not live in our district. It seems cruel, and I know she hates telling kids they can no longer be with their friends and teachers because Mommy and Daddy lied, but it has to be done. Our school is fed partly by property taxes of homes in our allotted school zoning area; if you live outside that zone, you can't possibly be contributing your fair share to your child's education. The less money we have as an educational institution, the fewer quality teachers we can hire, the less resources we have, and the quality of education we provide drops like the edge of the Marianas Trench. This is not only my district, every district in the State of Texas faces concerns of student residency qualifications. Why does one district make NEWSWEEK? Simply put, because they are trying to make a sob story out of it. Between the sappy picture, the Supreme court case, and the ALCU wannna-be lawyer, they are trying to make this a civil rights nightmare. Here's the thing, though. Civil Rights are for AMERICANS. The Bill of Rights is for AMERICANS. What part of Mexican Citizen is going misunderstood? The Supreme Court did in fact rule that illegal children have the right to attend school, but the implication is that they have to actually have a permanent home in the U.S.. They can be educated if they actually reside day to day in a certain school district, however Mexico, last time I checked, is not in any Texas school district. As for the argument that the border is being targeted, of course it is! Illegal Immigration is a huge, expensive, important issue that needs to be handled promptly and efficiently. If you go to the doctor with a systemic illness, the doctor first attempts to find the source of the problem. If there is a gaping wound in border patrol, such as this bridge the kids are walking over, let's treat the wound and close off the bridge. It's the first step to remedying this systemic illness of having of far too many illegal and potentially dangerous aliens. Furthermore, I have experienced in one way or another, 4 Texas school districts, all at least 500 miles from Del Rio and the Mexican border, and every one of those districts has an active policy to weed out non district resident students.Del Rio is no different than anywhere else in the state ,and shame on NEWSWEEK for biased reporting. I understand the importance of educating students; I do it presumably well on a daily basis. I have been through the system recently myself and know exactly what my kids are up against academically now and in their future. We as teachers, parents, and the community need all the resources we can muster to prepare our kids for what they are up against. Call me selfish or elitist or mean, but American kids need access to those things first. We need to take care of our own to ensure our continued existence as a nation. If we educate the rest of the world, and not our own children, then we are using our own resources to plot our own demise. We as a country are nothing without the educated few who step up to be our leaders, our teachers, and our voters. If I want to sob about something, it won't be this NEWSWEEK article, it will be the sad state of education and popular belief this country and it's pundits have fallen to. NEWSWEEK, take your tissues somewhere else.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/216862

I would honestly like to get into a cage match with every First Lady who has backed "No Child Left Behind" and other educational programs of the like. I am sick and tired, up to my elbows, and fed up every other metaphorical way I possibly can be with this educational system. One year and one month is all it has taken for this girl to see what a corrupt, self-serving, greedy, ignorant educational system we have. The processes, the methods, the ways and means, are, simply put, wrong. Children will always rise to our expectations, and our expectations are alarmingly low. They are being taught be English teachers with no English degrees, who have never read Shakespeare or Twain and cannot tell you the difference between good and well. The state, the government, wants the educators to indoctrinate kids on procedural literature and expository texts, but leave out the Hawthorne and Melville. I cannot and will not stand for that. Recently, I was severely chided when I "broke district policy" and required my students to read on their own individual level. Levels were determined by a well respected reading program that was both vocabulary and sentence complexity based. I didn't feel as if I was one to argue with the test, rather my job was to assure that the kids were pushing themselves instead of reading "Twilight" for the 22nd time. When the Language Arts TEKS change at the end of this year, students will be lucky to have read 4 novels by the time they get to 12th grade. Apparently, incompetency is the new trend in hiring. I want so badly for my students to read the classics, not only in order to pass the AP test but to be well rounded students who are prepared for college and life in general. It is a proven fact that frequent reading raises intelligence and builds neurons; reading physically makes your brain able to react faster and more effectively. Why are we shunning this so much? I am but one measly teacher; I cannot take on the state or the government and change educational laws. My option, if I wish to keep earning a paycheck, is to sit back, change my policies, lower my expectations, and keep my mouth shut. It's a bit like laying down and trying to hold your neck off the ground for an entire week-painful and damn near impossible. My expectations are high and it is my intent to push kids out of their comfort zone every day. If they are always sliding by, they will never learn anything. Maybe this is an issue that begins at home; too many kids are sqeaking by and not being held accountable for their actions and reactions. If I had shirked a responsibility growing up, there were serious and immediate consequences. I was taught to hold myself accountable for not only the things expected of me, but more importantly my own expectations. Maybe I should be ranting to parents who can't take the time to sit down with their kids and teach them how to be adults; maybe I should be talking to parents who believe that every experience a child should have must be positive. I would suggest to those parents to go buy a "Calvin and Hobbes" comic and promptly ask your child to do some hard labor; I imagine it would help.

I am but one measly teacher, but my love for my kids and investment in their future is not now, nor has it even been anything but tremendous. I want the best for those kids, and I give my heart every day making sure that's what I'm doing. I am being cut off at the knees, my efforts thwarted by elitist parents and the drones that work higher than me. It's suffocating and I don't know how much more air I will be able to gulp on my way down.

The Open Sign

http://www.newsweek.com/id/215340

Every month, a privilege fee comes from the paycheck that I earn teaching five foot six conglomerations of body odor, hormones, peach-fuzz, and poor music choices that you civilians call 8th graders. I spend a multitude of hours researching, reading, lesson planning, and generally immersing myself in cognitive theory and amateur literature in order to prepare for and successfully execute my days. Roughly 16.5% of my monthly income pays for the privilege of having health insurance, and almost a whole other 20% goes to paying the deductible and medical bills accumulated despite my "great" health insurance. Despite what feels like sky high prices, I am thrilled that I receive the privilege to buy myself health insurance; I work hard for that privilege. Recently, the health care debate has been on tongues and front pages everywhere, and I had not taken a particular interest until I read the NEWSWEEK article linked above.
Irving, TX is a hotbed of immigration activity; in the past two years, Irving PD has gone on several raids of workplaces for the sole reason to flush out and deport illegal workers. Irving is almost a full ten years ahead of the curve on the minority/majority switch. According to NEWSWEEK, it would be beneficial for the citizens of Irving and other residents of both DFW and the state of Texas to pay for, through taxes, the health care for those illegal individuals. Right now, the citizens of Irving already pay for the countless accidents with uninsured drivers, the ever mounting fees to send illegal children and children of illegals to school, county taxes to keep Parkland hospital open, which serves mostly uninsured illegal immigrants and their families, and additional taxes to house illegal immigrants who wind up in jail. If you are not in this country legally, you cannot get a drivers license or insurance (in theory); if you have neither, what happens when you are in an accident? You get to walk away, taking no responsibility whatsoever for your mistake, no responsibility for the people you have hurt. Children whose parents are illegal immigrants are going to school for free. If you get paid cash and rent an abode, you don't pay property taxes and thereby you don't pay school taxes. Furthermore, in situations where multiple families reside in the same tiny house or apartment, even if taxes are paid, they are not paid proportionately for all the children living in the home. Someone has to take up that slack, and it falls on the other property owners-many of which are immigrants who have taken the time, effort, and steps necessary to become an American citizen. How then, will the school system, the education system, ever improve if there are more children than we have resources? What happens when an illegal worker falls off the roof he is working on and breaks his leg? With no insurance, the hospital has to absorb the cost of the doctors, x-ray techs, nurses, medications, casting supplies, needles, IVs, etc...The quality of medicine everyone else in that hospital receives has just diminished because money had to be spent on treating someone who isn't even legal be in this country. We have already seen crime rates climb to Everest proportions not because of race or the country of origin of these immigrants, simply because there is a distinct connection between a low socio-economic status (which most illegal immigrants have)and a high crime rate. If you don't have food, you may get the notion to go steal some. If you can't get a job legally, you may get the notion to engage in the unfortunately lucrative and thriving drug trade. High crime rates mean crowded jails; crowded jails means that that there are more bodies to provide 3 squares to, more bodies to stitch up and clean up, more beds to buy, more sheets to buy, more water and electricity that tax payers have to dish out for. What happens when that jail becomes too crowded? A bond election is issued to buy a new jail; voters are asked to approve the local government to take more of their money to pay for all these extra expenses.
I don't know about you, but if there were a country that provided free health insurance, a free education for my children, a welfare program that guaranteed food and a Wal-Mart shopping card, and left me able to spend my cash on movies, electronics, alcohol, and other cush items, I may just pack up and immigrate myself. We, as a nation, are providing an open invitation to come on it and sit a spell. Earn our money, take our jobs, and hey, send all your money back to stimulate your own country's economy while using our resources freely. If we were to follow the pundits at NEWSWEEK, all we would be doing is turning a flashing red, white, and blue neon sign that said 'OPEN.' Maybe in theory insuring illegals would be a practical economic move, but in practice, the government taking on a small cost from the taxpayers wouldn't even come close to off-setting what we already pay in terms of money that goes to illegal immigrants. Don't turn on that 'open' sign, don't invite more people here that you and I have to pay for. I'm all about America being the land of opportunity, a land founded by immigrants, but there is a moral and ethical and considerate way to become an American. We pull our boot straps up and earn our living, earn our privileges every day; I want to continue to keep earning my privileges. I'm done paying the county, paying the city, paying the country, to take care of the needs of a people who aren't my fellow countrymen, who aren't starving, hurting, suffering American families. I say to NEWSWEEK, maybe you should check your facts, check with the people who live it, check with the people of Irving, TX or San Diego, CA, or Newark, NJ, or Miami, FL. Check with Americans before you write about our lives and what we should be doing. We might all appreciate that.

A Love Song

I wish I could write you a love song you could hear. I wish you knew you were the only person I thought about when I took my diploma. I wish you knew how I wanted to be by your side today, drinking tea and looking at the squirrels. I wish you knew how badly I want you to answer the phone every time I call home. I wish I believed that the stars would whisper my heart to your ears. I wish I believed the clouds were a comfortable old chair that you could sit and watch my world go by. I wish you could feel my sadness when I realize you won't ever know the man I love, and he won't ever know you. I wish I didn't have to pick someone else to walk me down the aisle some far away day. I wish you could read all the things I've written you, I wish you could see all the cards and letters I've never gotten to send. I wish wherever you're at had a post office. I wish you hadn't gone and left me to protect myself, I haven't always done a good job. I wish you could be here to protect my honor. I wish you knew that your hand was the first I reached for from my hospital bed. I wish you knew how I broke when I realized you could never be there. I wish you knew how much I missed you, because if you knew, surely you'd convince God to send you back to me. I wish I could write you a love song you could hear.

Roll Off Exotic Tongues

I'm restless. As of now, I have a good job. As of always, I have a great family and wonderful friends and a relationship with Jesus Christ. As of now, I'm bored, I'm restless...something is missing. I'd like to think that busy will cure restless...and don't get me wrong, I'm fanfreakingtastic at compartmentalizing, but I don't think I'll be able to pack this feeling away in the attic that is my mind. Until I'm content, until I'm happy with what and who is around me and happy with the experiences I encounter and the feelings that course through me daily, I will forever be restless. What will it take? I know I don't want cookie cutter, I don't want normal or even sane... ("two roads diverged..." and all that.) So what do I want? I want to travel (the ENTIRE Caribbean, eastern Europe, western Europe, Morocco, Andorra, Vatican City, Sicily, Sardinia, Greece, Bulgaria, Sydney, London, Glasgow, French mountains and American valleys, New England in the fall, Paris at night, Switzerland in the dead of winter). I want to taste exotic foods and listen to exotic languages as they roll off exotic tongues. I want a wind chapped face and a suntanned body. I want to grow up. I want to write my own love story. I want to write the great Texan novel. I want to love and be loved in return. I want to knock down walls that lead to ancient treasure and knock down the walls around my heart. I want to believe in love without fear. I want to really stand up for what I believe. I want to experience Christ in the Holy Land and God in all His creations.

I don't want good. I want amazing, I want breathtaking. I want Life.

Breasts and Thighs and Wings

Dear Lord,
Hope the weather is nice where you are, thanks for the pretty weather here. Thanks for all my family and friends, they're pretty cool so good call there. Please take care of all the people in the world who are cold and hungry and hurting.
I wanted to talk to you about something specific tonight, if you have the time...but I'm pretty sure you do. There are some things that just don't make sense to me. I don't mean to question and I don't mean to complain...it's just a little light shed on a couple things would really help me out. Lord, I'd like you to walk me through the Garden of Eden, take me to that fateful day when you created something beautiful and soft and sweet out of something sweaty and hairy and smelly. What was the train of thought there?
You see, I'm beginning to wonder if maybe you were tired (and really, who can blame you?) or maybe you just have an odd sense of humor (in which case, there is a good laugh to be had) when you created us man and woman.
We're so different and yet so alike. Our pieces fit, but sometimes the puzzle doesn't make sense.
I think the general idea was good Lord, but somewhere on the way, things started to go wrong. We take advantage of each other's gifts and strengths and then leave one another empty and bruised. Men want many women, and many women only want one man. Men want to be free, and women desire to be tied. Women want words and songs and thoughts, men want thighs and breasts and wings.
I'm confused Lord, how do we all fit together? How did you design us? How do we get back there?
I'll let you get back to fixing things Lord, I hope the view is wonderful from where you are. See you soon.

Love,
Ang

Maid in the Master Bedroom

Believe me, I'm no feminist, I look forward to nurseries and cookies and laundry as much as the next girl. Having said that however, I would love to know at what point my generation of women decided it was OK to ignore women's progress altogether. Since when was it OK to give up your identity for a man?? Didn't our moms teach us better than that? Over the past couple years, I've seen countless girls give up their career plans, dreams, friends and even religions for a man. Girls, no one is worth that. No amount of financial security or high powered your-kids-will-be-cute-and-smart sperm is worth that. Relationships are about partnerships and compromise, not moving to his city and conforming to his dreams. It's particularly irritating to see women giving up their closest friends because a) they must, oh must, spend every waking moment with this perfect male specimen, or b) said male specimen has decided he doesn't like one or more of your friends. If he's concerned they're doing you harm, that's one thing. If he has a personality clash or character issue, then he's the one with the set and has every capability to address the situation.
I have every intention of getting married someday and having babies, when the Lord is ready for me to. Right now however, I have a dream to follow (namely, teaching), people to meet (namely, new friends) and places to see (namely....ok this list is WAAYYY too long). I'm proud of myself for making it on my own, maybe I don't have someone buying me diamonds or flowers or electronic equipment, but I work hard and that's my own reward.
So, Ladies, before you consider a life as a homemaker (read: I didn’t say stay at home mom, that’s a whole different ballgame) ,which is cool if you're doing something productive with your time: volunteering, substituting, something else good for the community, consider life as a person, as an individual entering into a partnership and not just a maid getting to live in the master bedroom.

Mixing Movies

As my friends and I have gotten older and gone through our changes and hardships and good times, there are a few things that stay the same. We're always here for one another, we're always good for a joke and we're always complaining about men. Only some of us have financial woes, only some of us have a hard time at school, only some of us have crappy roommates or terrible jobs, but all of us have man problems. I was thinking today, as I saw yet another relationship circle the drain, that there has to be some cause, some reason and maybe some solution, and I came up with something. I think the primary problem is expectations and the difference in expectations that men and women have. Aside from the fact that women of my generation have TERRIBLE Disney complexes, I really think we're also struggling with a different set of thoughts and perceptions. We grew up in a world of empowered and independent women, and witnessed a lot of our mothers making on their own in a man's world, (see Trisha Yearwood's
'Ribbons and Bows', perfect example) but at the same time, grew up in communities and environments that regarded this independence as a last ditch effort: something you do when your husband leaves you. We all want white horses and prince charming, but we want it on our terms- we don't need to be rescued, we've got it figured out, but at the same time, we act like that's precisely what we want. As a generation of women, we want to act like a grown-up, proactive, independent and yet be treated like something out of ‘Leave it to Beaver.’ We want men to chase us and send us flowers and buy us jewelry and take us out and take care of us, but we want to hit on them first and pursue them first. It all looks to me like trying to mix movies from different decades.
I think we have to shift our expectations. I think we need to expect that if the decision is made to be primarily ambitious, I don't think we can expect to be treated like Cinderella in her glass slipper phase. I think if we want to be a part of a "man's world", we have to acknowledge that it might be not only intimidating, but also a cue that we don't need things women traditionally "need" (if you're the one killing all the spiders, he might start to wonder why he's even there, metaphorically). By the same token, I think if what you really want is the glass slipper, there's a path to that too.
I won't say that either way is wrong or that there isn't a middle ground, I simply believe that there are decisions to be made and paths to be chosen in order to get precisely what you want.

As for me, I'm just hoping I'm smart enough to listen when God is talking to me.